Bad mother’s day gift ideas…from the Chief Mom Officer

Today is this site’s first Guest Post! I am honored to have Chief Mom Officer write a post for my adolescent site. She has many great things over on her own site where she talks about parenting, finances, and how mom’s do it. Honestly I have no idea how my wife does it! My favorite posts are the Millionaire, Breadwinner, or Six Figure Moms. Go check it out right now….well after you read the following post on Mother’s Day gift ideas!

Also check her out on the Stacking Benjamins podcast. She is a guest today and I am sure it would be great to hear what she has to say. So now off to today’s post!

Chief Mom Officer is going to lay down some ideas of what not to buy your mom today. If you already did buy her something on the list…well…honestly…I hope your mom loves you. So here you go our first guest post!

Mother’s day!

Hello and good morning – and of course Happy Mothers Day! Today’s the day when folks celebrate the mothers in their lives. In honor of the day, my friend Dads, Dollars, and Debts invited me – the Chief Mom Officer – over to talk about Mothers Day. As mother to three boys, ranging in age from 13 down to 2, I’ve been through quite a few Mother’s Days already. Today I’m going to share with you some of the worst ideas for Mother’s Day gifts I’ve seen around the internet.

This year, retailers are expecting record high spending on this day – $186.39 according to Forbes. In fact, they’re hoping that this day will make you go out and spend so much, that it will give a much-needed boost to the ailing sector.

But before you go out for some last-minute shopping, take a moment to appreciate the fact that you/your loved ones did not spend their $186 on these gifts for Mother’s Day (at least, I hope they didn’t!).

Here are the top nine worst Mother’s Day gift ideas I found online.

1. The Gift of Bail

Do you know what every mother wants for Mother’s Day? The gift of having their children bailed out of jail. After all, if it wasn’t mother’s day you’d just leave them there, right? One enterprising bail bond company has created an entire marketing campaign around how you should give the gift of bail this Mother’s Day.

2. A Tattoo

Although this gift may go along with the gift of bail, most mothers don’t want you to come home with a “Mom” tattoo as a gift for this day.

3. Darth Vader China

My husband is a HUGE Star Wars fan. We own all the movies, many of the toys (sorry…action figures), the ships, and so on. We even have several lightsabers in the house. Now, I’m more of a Star Trek girl myself (go Captain Picard!), but I don’t mind Star Wars. I would, however, mind receiving this particular gift, which mashes together the dark lord of the Sith with antique, fancy china. Hint – Just because it’s on Etsy doesn’t make it good. (Personally I am a Trekie too…The Next Generation! Looks like I know what your kids should be getting you for next Mother’s Day)

4. Edward Cullen Body Pillow

In the same vein of “just because it’s on Etsy doesn’t make it a good idea”, you might be thinking of getting an Edward Cullen body pillow for the mom in your life who’s a big fan of Twilight. Please don’t. No one wants to be hugged by this.

5. Toilet Paper Earrings

Continuing on the list of terrible Etsy gift ideas are these earrings. Now, you might think that for this day, jewelry makes a great gift – plus it’s on Etsy so it’s crafty and thoughtful! In this case, you would be wrong.

6. Botox

Nothing tells your mother how much you love her, and how much you appreciate all that she does, then by telling her that you don’t like her face and she should get jabbed with needles full of poison to fix that. (Maybe they are getting botox to help with their migraines from raising all those kids?)

7. Gifts Bought with Fake Coupons

If you’re on Facebook, you might have seen that “awesome!” $75 off Bed Bath and Beyond Mother’s Day coupon. How generous of them to honor mothers like that! HINT: It’s a scam. Don’t try to use that $75 coupon to try to buy your mom a gift, or the employees will laugh you out of the store.

8. Terrible Mother’s Day Cards

Mother’s Day is supposed to be all about how you appreciate the things your mother has done for you over the years – or how much you appreciate the things other mothers in your life have done. Protip – it’s best not to share your appreciation for your mother with a terrible card. Like this one, that (1) criticizes your mother, (2) reinforces a stereotype about women drivers, and (3) shows zero thoughtfulness. This would be a good way to sleep on the couch.

Hug Me Jacket

Maybe you live far away from the mom in your life, and just want to see her in person and give her a great, big, hug. Well, if that’s the case, please write her a heartfelt letter instead of getting her a “Hug Me” jacket. (This is just a bit creepy!)

So What Do Moms Want?

The best gift the mom in your life could receive is certainly not anything on this list, and usually not more stuff. It’s also not one of those “traditional” but not really thoughtful gifts like flowers that will die in a week, or a Hallmark card you picked up at Walgreens when you realized you forgot about Mother’s Day. Instead, sit down at your computer and write a heartfelt letter to the mother(s) in your life about just how much you appreciate everything she does. Unlike the flowers or the card, which will go in the trash in a week, a letter will be kept forever. (I had to bolden CMO’s advice. It is pretty good and something few of us do…I am going to go write my mom a letter write now!)

If you insist on a gift, at least make it one that she’ll really appreciate – and that won’t be in the trash in a week. Beautiful plants for her garden, something for her hobby, her favorite coffee she won’t buy because it’s too pricy – there are many much better gifts out there. Or use the day to create a special memory – arrange a picnic in a park, invite the moms in your life over for a brunch prepared by you, or research some fun (and likely free!) things to do that day.

So, skip the flowers, Hallmark, and the expensive brunch out and show the mom(s) in your life your real appreciation for all they’ve done.

Thank to Liz the CMO for my first guest post! I appreciate her writing a Mom piece for DDD. If I were a sarcastic or mean son I would buy my mom the hug jacket. For now I will stick with a hummingbird feeder! 

Go check her stuff out. Liz writes over at Chief Mom Officer about money, work, and frugal family life. She’s a breadwinning mother of three who works in IT by day and blogs by early morning. Stop by her site, or Facebook / Twitter and say hello!

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Also published on Medium.